Sessions and Story Time
The Sessions That Made Miss Scarlett – Part One
Many of you ask how I run my sessions.
“What do I do during a session?” or “What is it like?” and “Do I just beat you up and whip you and then you go home?”
The answer is simple. No. No, I don’t.
Those who have sessioned with me already know that I run my sessions a bit differently than any other Pro-Domme they have ever seen, no better, no worse. Every Domina has her own style, and unless they are putting their submissive in danger, that style is her unique style and I would never brag that mine is better, nor would I consider it worse than hers. (Except for maybe Miss Molly, cause I love love love her to bits and she is amazing! Go see her! https://www.themistressmolly.com/)
Anyhow, with that being said. My one hour sessions actually tend to run between two and a half to three hours…and I will explain why.
The First Hour: Therapy
The first hour is what I call my “Therapy Hour” or “Chat Hour”, which is where my submissives come in and they have time to sit and talk to me. This is where we get to the root of their trauma, issues, talk about what is going on in their life, what has happened to them in their life and we connect it to how it relates to their fetishes and kinks (sometimes), it is not all relevant to BDSM, but it is interesting to see how their past and what has happened to them ties into what they desire most of all today in their present life.
For instance, I once had a client whose mother neglected him horribly as a child. She would have her girlfriends over for drinks, Amaretto was her drink of choice. They would smoke cigarettes and fishbowl the house, chatting and gossiping while my client was just a baby/toddler and he learned to keep to himself, played on the floor and she basically did the bare minimum, which was keep him fed, diapered and clothed.
He grew up hardly talking to anyone, had little to no friends most of his life, he had major anxiety issues, Mommy issues, abandonment issues, could not stay in a relationship for more than a year IF he could even find a girl who lived up to his high standards (this guy was gorgeous) and when he did, he automatically assumed the woman was going to abandon him if she even thought about going out with her girlfriends, forget about another male friend. He was controlling, rude, yet quiet and always anxious.
I worked with him for three years.
He had a smoking fetish due to his mother and her girlfriends smoking around him, he said they were beautiful and he found it fascinating and sexy as he grew up and he would watch them smoke, he always loved it.
He also has a foot fetish, because some of his earliest memories of his mother that comforted him were always just seeing her feet constantly and that is how he knew she was there for him. This was in the 70s so he always preferred that particular style of shoe as well. He bought me several pairs.
Another things he enjoyed was being spanked OTK because when he would try and bother his mother with some minor or even major thing, she would spank him, irritated that he would interrupt her, though this he think stemmed from the fact that he really was an unwanted child. His mother was young when she had him, only 16, and he believes he was a product of rape because his father was deeply in love with his mother and his mother could care less.
After he explained the dynamics of his parents relationship to me, it reminded me a lot of Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara from Gone With the Wind, which is one of my favorite movies of all time and where I got the name, “Mistress Scarlett” from. And of course, in the movie, Rhett and Scarlett have a little boy that for awhile, Scarlett really could care less about, so the whole situation just made me think of this movie. I digress, but anyhow – it was just an interesting thought to me that he would happen to see me of all people. Little things like that get my mind going.
He also brought me bottles of Amaretto and sometimes we would just sit at the table and I would talk to him for an hour. He is the one who gave me the idea to have my “therapy hour” in the first place, because, in all honesty, he was one of my first clients and I cared a lot about him. I have told his story many times, but will never, ever say his name.
We worked together awhile, sessioning, doing therapy, talking, going out on occasion, and the longer we worked together, the more I noticed him changing. He was like a toddler again when he came to me, silent and scared at his mother’s feet, and by the time I retired, he was engaged to be married to a women he’s been seeing for nine months. He was like a completely different person.
I remember him hugging me, squeezing me and telling me he didn’t think he would be where he was had he not met me. (honest to God, you can’t make this shit up) It was one of the highlights of my life and I’ve had many, many, many similar clients, but this one always stood out because he was one of the first and one of my longest.
I reached out to him about four years ago and he was still with his wife and they’d had two kids and were doing well. He was in traditional therapy for mild anxiety and depression, but nothing serious, which I was happy to hear. He did ask if I would ever go back to being a Pro-Domme and at the time I’d said no, because I was about to get married myself, but little did I know a few years later I would be dusting off the whips and floggers and getting back at it.
(Thank you D)
Now, in the present, with everything I have been through and working with one of the best psychiatrists in Massachusetts (he costs more an hour than we do!)
I’ve learned Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques and applied them to BDSM, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, to help people understand, and own their trauma by defeating it and accepting it. I’ve seen people move forward and learn that without what happened to them, they would not be who they are today. It’s not just about BDSM and kink, it’s about overcoming your grief and connecting with someone on a deeper level, one on one. That is what I am here for as well as to play and for you to serve me. I am here to help you. I crave that positivity, but I also crave your stories, your energy, your willingness to share with me your most intimate of secrets so that I can help you overcome your darkest times.
