Financial Domination: The Beneficial Fetish Turned Part Time Job for the Insta-Domme

Financial Domination Before Twitter

*GASP* Before Twitter? Was there ever such a time? Can you remember the days when we didn’t know what celebs were doing exactly as they were doing it, when Presidents could Tweet straight from office (dear Lord, if ONLY we could remember those days, right?), when there was a time that conversations didn’t automatically lead to what was “trending” on Twitter that day, or what drama went down on Twitter only hours before! Honestly, it’s pretty hard to remember the days when social media in general didn’t dictate the world we live in, nevermind the great and powerful Twitter!

In fact, Twitter is so popular that over 500 million Tweets are sent each day by over 145 million daily active users (330 million monthly!), about a quarter of internet users in the United States use Twitter monthly, which is A LOT. So yeah, Twitter is pretty friggin big.

You know what else is big and has made its way to Twitter? Financial Domination. Yeah. A whole new world of it too. Though, if you ask any Twitter Fin-Domme, they will swear high and low that “I” know nothing about Financial Domination. Not even the first thing about it. Imagine that.

Anyhow. First, I do want to say that some of these girls (yes, girls) are 18 years old, or claim to be, which would have made them about 4 years old when I started training to become a Pro-Domme and researching things like Financial Domination. So Twitter was juuuusssst becoming a thing and not the powerhouse it is now. It was all LiveJournal and MySpace back then.

Now, I was also interested in accounting, bookkeeping and taxes, so naturally I did take an interest in Findom originally because it did have to do with “Finances” believe it or not.

See, back in the day, Findom was actually about a financial relationship between a Mistress and her Submissive, and it usually took a lot of trust between the two in order to do it and/or an extreme fetish of the kind in order to be done properly because the submissive had to give up (complete power exchange) some, if not all control over his finances. Usually terms were discussed and the Mistress would take over some, if not all of these things, which included and were not limited to –

~ Paying the mortgage or rent
~ Utility Bills
~ Bills like cable, phone, internet, etc
~ Credit Cards
~ Car payments, vacation home payments, boat payments, etc
~ Child support payments, alimony payments, (any direct costs from their check or bank account to be factored in)
~ Quarterly Tax Payments (if they owned a business, or they handled payments to the accountant for this – many clients wanting financial domination would be well off and would be a mess sometimes, their finances all over the place – or middle class – business owners – etc)
~ Back payments, payments plans, etc

You get the idea, all the necessary bills would be paid off first and foremost, leaving the smaller, but still necessary things, and this is where it could get fun sometimes, you could mess with them, get inside their head if you wanted to/needed to, explore fetishes and kinks, give yourself an allowance that would not ruin them financially, but would give you both a Tribute for your hard work and for being their Mistress as well. This is where the trust would also come into play, because you could ruin them if you wanted to. You could keep them afloat and secretly syphon every last penny from them without them even knowing, especially if you were close enough to them to have complete control over their bank accounts and credit cards.

For instance –

Other Expenses Include –
Gas, Groceries, Coffee, Spending Money, etc…

You could dictate exactly what they get to eat per day –
If they are overweight – you put them on a diet plan and make them cut down on the coffee and junk food, thus also helping them with their weight issue and saving them money from buying coffees and they spend a ton less on groceries per week.

Say this saves them $450 per month
You cut their spending money in half and make them start a savings account to set themselves better financial goals – This saves them $50 per week ($200 per month)
Because they have less spending money they cannot go out and drink booze and party it up with their friends and drive around like idiots, they have to come home and check in with you every night aside from one day a week when they get to do what they like. – This saves them $50 more ($15 on gas and $35 from buying drinks) ($200 per month)

You’ve now saved them $850 per month

Now, say your Submissive makes a monthly Tribute of $1,000 to you (around $330 per week-ish) for what you do – after you pay everything for them, put their money into savings, given them an allowance, paid for their food, gas, whatever expenses necessary…you take whatever is left and that goes into your pocket.

So, from the $850 you’ve saved them, put half into a savings for them and give half to yourself. That’s an extra $425 simply for helping them save and being cost savvy where you can be. (And this entire situation is generic and just an example)

Because, the whole point is to get them financially stable and on a better path, whilst putting what you deserve in your pocket and what they can afford to give – NOT TO “DRAIN” WALLETS while you jiggle your ass and squish your boobs together.

But hell, you know what they have for spending money as well, so you can even tell them you will do some extra for $50 if they want. Say, an hour on the treadmill while you sip on some wine in a hot pair of panties and a tank top and bark orders at them (forced exercise is always fun and a great way to get them happier, healthier and add to getting them on the right track!)

Make them clean their own house while you watch and follow them around in the pretty new heels they bought you, this is both productive for them and beneficial to you.

If they misbehave, start cutting their spending money by $20 every week and putting $10 into their savings and $10 into your pocket. Again, benefits both of you. If they’re fantastic for an entire month, give them a pair of your damn panties as a reward, don’t make them buy them!

Get creative, there is a million different things you can do with Financial Domination, it is one of the most open ended fetishes out there and all you need to do is sit down and negotiate with your submissive to find out what one another’s kinks are, you could both end up having a great time and a relationship more meaningful than most of the ones I see on Twitter that make people bitter and hateful, both Fin-Dommes and Fin-Subs alike.

I guarantee your submissives will respond better to praise, rewards and better treatment, rather than being treated like dirt and scum all of the time. It bewilders me how women jump onto Twitter; think they own the world and just start shouting insults and are dumbfounded when they get nowhere.

You are not entitled to anything just because you call yourself a Domme. Many of us had to work hard, research and earn that title. We did not just go on Twitter and decide to be one.

To All The “But Mistress Scarlett This” and “But Mistress Scarlett That” Questions and Accusations

Now that I have told you all how to actually go about doing Financial Domination the proper way, I will address a few things I have heard while on Twitter while talking to the Insta-Dommes of today.

“You’re just jealous”
No. I’m a Domme who does actual sessions and not Twitter things. I do not want your online FinDom stuff. I have a playspace I just dropped 7k on renovating and a ton of personal subs I have actual connections with, no.

“You hate and/or are against all Fin-Dommes”
No. I have many friends who are Fin-Dommes. Most are a mix of real time Dommes and do online FinDom stuff. I also believe in “to each their own”. My problem is with the online Dommes who either –
– come after me
– disrespect men to the point of shaming them for not paying, try to guilt them, blackmail them, publicly humiliate them when it is neither wanted, nor warranted or put their personal information online (dox them)
– act insanely desperate in order to make a buck or two
– are in no way, shape or form fucking Dommes, but call themselves one in order to get money, thus giving Dommes a bad name and making us look bad in a million different ways including – stealing money, again with the desperation, going after owned subs, starting drama, lying about me or other Dommes, starting drama with me or other Dommes, hurting subs and making them feel useless, doxxing people, bullying, ganging up on people, using their status to bully, sending their minions to bully, etc

“But what about the Fin-Dommes who make a ton of money? What do you have to say about them?
Most of the ones I have seen that make good money and have “made it” as an online Domme have actually gone about it at least semi-right or right. The rest of their income comes from doing clips, working on NiteFlirt, getting Tributes from people who are into giving money to strong, powerful women who have actually made it and are good at what they do. These women are actually dominant women, they did not just jump online to make a quick buck, they worked their asses off and it paid off in the end. They also didn’t just spend spend spend when they started getting Tributes. They were smart with their money and they invested.

They more than likely bought video and audio equipment so they could film quality videos for clip selling sites instead of spending it on expensive shoes and lingerie, because honestly, men do not care about that shit. You could be wearing a $5 bra and panty set from Wish or a $100 Victoria Secret set and they would not know the difference, but they would know the difference between a video taken on a phone in a dark room versus a video taken on a decent camera with decent lighting.

Also, remember, Fin-Dommes who get rich and make good money off of doing this are few and far between.

They also have their groups they make you pay for, some are even similar to a pyramid scheme, so there are girls out there taking advantage of and getting rich off of other girls. THIS is NOT FemDom, you may as well go work for LuLaRoe ladies because you’re getting screwed.

“Why does it make you so irritated? How does it affect you?”
Seven-eight years ago when I spoke with men and set up appointments to meet with them or they contacted me, there was more trust there, when a man looked for a Dominatrix he mostly knew what he was going to get. Nowadays with the way things are, in the “post 50 shades era” as I like to call it, there is so much more distrust, hesitancy…I literally find myself having to say or write to every client to assure them that I am “not a Twitter Fin-Domme” and I am “not into that stuff” and you would not believe the amount of men I have spoken to that have been taken advantage of by these online Dommes…which leads me to my next question…

“If the men get taken advantage of, isn’t it their own fault for being stupid?”
This is something I have heard more times than I can count and each time it kind of pisses me off. So I am going to give you a situation in which I could say the same thing to you and see what your take is on it.

Okay, so ladies, let’s say (hypothetically) you decide you want to go get a massage. You look online for a massage therapist, you have a budget of $150 to spend. You see all the popular ones and they are all $200 and up per hour for a basic swedish massage, you can probably scrounge up the extra $50, but you kind of don’t want to, so you keep looking and come across this great deal on Groupon which offers a swedish massage with hot stones and a paraffin hand dip for $125! The page is gorgeous, the photos are beautiful, it shows a woman lying in a spa like atmosphere, surrounded by candles, it’s amazing. The description says, “Highly qualified massage therapist,” and goes into detail about the things he does and how amazing you will feel after, it sounds perfect…You snag it up! You saved money even, you feel great about your purchase too, nice!

You show up to get your massage, the place is kinda shabby, but whatever, then this kind of creepy looking guy comes out and he’s the massage therapist…even worse…well don’t judge a book by it’s cover right?

So, you bite your tongue and get ready for your massage and it’s awful, the guy couldn’t rub a knot out of a piece of bread, he smells awful, he’s a mouth breather and he won’t stop talking and he tells you he just got his massage therapy certificate at a Community College up the street. You think…wow, anyone can be a damn massage therapist huh? You suffer through the hot stones and the hand wax and you get the hell out of there, worst massage of your life.

You feel like you’ve been robbed of $125 because Groupon let this guy post fake photos (which they do allow stock photos) and make it seem like this was going to be amazing, but he was hardly a massage therapist! He had a certificate and basically no experience whatsoever!

But hey, it’s your own dumb fault right??? You wouldn’t blame false advertising? Or the fact that the man didn’t know what he was doing? The fact that he made himself seem insanely more qualified than he was? You wouldn’t feel the least bit taken advantage of? Now imagine if you had told the man private things about yourself and trusted the man as well. What if you had opened up and been vulnerable to the man? Add that to the equation and imagine how you would feel.

Then imagine being called an idiot for “falling for it”. This is truly detrimental to someone’s mental health and the opposite of what should be done during Financial Domination.

My Advice to the Ladies of the Online FinDom World

I am going to end this insanely long piece by saying first that, please, do not take this as a “I hate you all” article because that is not what it is. I am old school and having a hard time accepting what has become of a fetish that used to be very positive and supportive. One that I did long term a few times as a Pro-Domme, so to see all the “Fuck you, pay me just because…” and “Pay me piggy” and wallet “drains” and “rinses” and “I want this reimbursed” and “wtf why has no one Tributed to me today” when they’ve done nothing to deserve a Tribute aside from be present on Twitter. And every day I see 100 new Insta-FinDommes appear just regurgitating the same things the other girls say, then they fight with each other, try and steal one another subs, get angry at the subs constantly, post negative post after negative post about not getting enough money, it all just becomes very tiring.

So, Ladies – this is my advice for you.

If you are truly into kink

~ Start researching, become knowledgeable about simple accounting, help your submissives become financially stable and practice FinDom the way it’s supposed to be. You will have happier submissives and in turn, you will be a happy Mistress and yes, you will make more money. You will also have more meaningful relationships. You will be amazed at what it will bring into your life.

~ Find a Pro-Domme to mentor you, take a class, read a book, go to a convention, take an online class, this will help you SO much. You will grow as a dominant and as a person. Make connections with other Dommes that are meaningful (if you have not already, I know some of you have and it’s beautiful to see) I know some of the FinDom community is tight knit.

~ Do a Kink Journal and figure out your place in the community and what you want out of this part of your life, I recommend this book by Princess Kali > https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0578453398/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
It has a ton of stuff to fill in, questions to answer and great information!

~ Get off of Twitter once in awhile and have RT sessions and submissives (and NO, not just cash meets), connect with people, go to munches, get a www.fetlife.com and network, you will be amazed at the people you can meet on there. Spending ALL your time online is not good for you mentally or physically.

If you are NOT truly into Kink

~ Maybe explore kink and see if it might be something you are into before completely writing it off. www.kinkly.com can help you check some stuff out

~ Maybe take some time thinking about what you really love and want to do in life, what you are passionate about. Being a SW is not for everyone and you should be able to do what you love. Being a SW is also NOT easy, it takes a lot of work. If you heard it was easy money, that’s a lie. Also, it should never be done just for money, if your heart and soul are not into being a Domme, your submissive will know and you will not get far.

Either way, I hope everyone who reads this article takes something from it. You may hate me after reading it, you may think I am bashing on all the Fin-Dommes, but that is not the case, I would just love to see the way people are treated, Dommes and Submissives alike become better as a whole. I would love to see the old ways of Financial Domination revived, I think, especially in today’s world, a great many people could be helped. In the end, a true D/s relationship is give and take, not all take take take.

A true dominant – guides – gives advice – takes their submissives hands and leads them in the right direction – lifts their submissive up – holds them when they hurt and helps them make choices that will prove to them that serving and trusting you was the best decision they ever made. Because they choose to serve us, it is never forced. They give us their trust, show us the most vulnerable parts of them and put their lives, literally, in our hands. That takes strength. To abuse that in any way, shape or form is wrong. That is NOT dominance and that is not a Domme, that is an abuser.

Always remember that.

XOXO
Scarlett

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