Being a Mom and a Pro-Domme
Why the World Judges Me the Way They Do
I’m Mistress Scarlett, a seductive, unyielding force of feminine power and supremacy. I am your fantasy, your desire, your worst nightmare, I am your Mistress. I push you to your limits and then bring you back to earth time and time again making you feel everything from helpless to strong. I am a Goddess incarnate and one who not only challenges you, but makes you challenge yourself, makes you look deep inside yourself, I make you face your darkest fears while staring deeply into my eyes. I am a force to be reckoned with.
I am Brittany, I am a mother who loves her son more than life itself. I would do anything for my son. I would bend over backwards for this little human being. I would endure (and have endured) hours of unending pain and suffering to make sure he was safe and sound. I would take a bullet for this little human. I would go through and have gone through hell for him to make sure he is safe and sound. I am loving, caring, patient, helpful. I am a teacher, I provide guidance and love constantly for my child. I am…a Mother.
These two parts of me are so important. One is my passion, what I feel like I was born to do and have been doing for a very long time, for even longer than I have been a mother to Thorin, my son, I have been a surrogate mother to so many others who have needed me. This is a special part of my life, One I yearn for and hunger for, especially as a sadist. This is one I need in my life to be able to feed my sadistic needs and yet still be able to help people and feed my empathetic side as well, for I have both deeply ingrained inside of me.
The other part of me entered my life about five years ago or maybe a bit more when I became pregnant. You see, I had always had trouble getting pregnant and this was my bodies last “hurrah” as it just so happens I was beginning to go through a very early perimenopause. This is common in my family and happens to all the women in it. Thus, I took a shot at a baby and voila(!) Thorin happened to come along and I was blessed with the most perfect baby boy I could ever imagine.
Now, I stopped working for awhile and dedicated myself to him and only to him, but a time came when I had to go back to work. Yes, I tried vanilla work, but it wasn’t ME. It had never been ME. So I had the discussion with my husband about going back to what I had always loved and what I also felt like I needed, because without that outlet, it was hard for me to be a “whole” person. Being diagnosed with sadistic personality disorder is not easy, it’s like having a craving that is never, ever satiated and no matter what “drugs” they put me on, the feeling was always there. I am a healthy sadist, I do not go around hurting non-consenting people, but there is always always an “itch” that can never truly be scratched and keeping it shoved down inside of me just makes me miserable, depressed and sometimes angry because I don’t know how to deal with all of the emotions that the sadism I was born with leaves swimming around inside of me. It’s like caging a wild animal and expecting them to never follow their true instincts. It doesn’t work like that.
So – one day we decided I would go back to work, our greatest concern was the fact that I was now a Mom. How would people view that? How would people look at me as both a Mother and a Dominatrix?
We knew that there could possibly be repercussions, we knew that people judged this lifestyle and the people in it, especially when it came to having kids around, but we also knew that plenty of “kinky couples” had kids, had Dungeons and play spaces in their homes. It was not illegal to have a play space in your home and utilize it. I could not afford to rent anywhere else and thought, how nice would it be to work from home, make my own hours and spend as much time with my son as possible. Did I consider I would have clients coming to the home? Yes, yes I did. And I will get to that in a minute. But in my mind, the best course of action was to have a home based business. Tax wise, time wise, everything just fit.
As far as clients coming to the home, this is what I have been most judged about and I would like to point out a few things that make no sense. People judge me, but there are lawyers, massage therapists, doctors, and many others who run home based businesses that have children.
Yes, but they are not “sex workers” you say – yes, but some are lawyers who have criminals going to their home. And you don’t think that my clients go to see Doctors, massage therapists and other people at home based businesses. You think my clients ONLY come to see me? Not only that, but I think many of my clients would take offense to being considered “dangerous people” as they are simply human beings with a fetish, and it is proven that people who are more sexually open are less likely to commit crimes than those who are not. (look it up) Also, I am more likely to be sexually assaulted by someone I know (which just happened to me last Saturday and the person was not a client) so if you are letting regular people you know into your home and around your kids, technically your kids are in more danger by an Uncle or Aunt then they would be by a stranger. It’s proven.
But beyond all of this, my son is nowhere near my home when I work. He is gone 2 hours prior and doesn’t return home until 2 hours after I am done and everything is away.
I am sick and tired of getting hell (and from other Dommes too) about being a Domme and being a Mother. It’s like when being a Domme you can choose to be a Domme or be a Mom and once you become a Mom you have to give up being a Domme. This is not right. What if I went to every cop and told them they could not be a parent because their job was too risky (far more risky than mine) I mean, a criminal could get out of jail and seek revenge. And who has ever heard of a Domme and her child having issues with a client? Tell me, in all the Dommes in all the years across the country when has this ever happened?
Now, I fought DCF and I won – they realized the case against me was bogus and was being said against me because another Domme had it out for me and was being a vindictive, evil person who was merely just trying to get my child taken from me. She accused me of having my son involved in my business. (sick shit) But the fact that is even went as far as it did simply because I live an alternate lifestyle is not okay.
Thorin is in therapy now after everything that happened. In worrying about what consenting adults were doing, they messed up my child by making him deal with the stress of what the adults were going through at the time. I mean, I feared for my child, real fear, that because of this incident I would wake up one day and they would take my child from me. This is not the way things should be. It is unnerving that people would even consider it. Think about it – having to worry about DCF just for being kinky and doing kinky things with others. Even if your kids are not even in the building at the time you would be persecuted! That is what I went through and most people believe that children should not even be where there is kink, from what I have come across. So basically, it is okay to have vanilla sex while your kids are in the other room, but anything kink is off limits – I see that as very hypocritical. Because I don’t see them busting into houses giving couples hell that are having sex with one another – or having threesomes while the kids are in bed. But…as long as it’s vanilla right?
I ask everyone to remember that putting someone’s child into foster care and into the system where they could be molested, they could be abused much easier than with parents who love them and are just into kink is not right, not at all. DCF should be saved for instances where the child is actually in danger. My son is beyond loved and has more than everything he needs and it was a sick person that tried to take him from me. Other Dommes – wake up and stop judging Mothers who are Dommes. If you are not a Mother than the last thing you should be doing is judging a Mother, you have NO grounds. NONE. I am sick and tired of these 19, 20, 21 year old girls telling me what I should and should not do as a Mother and how I should protect my son.
I don’t care if you have a law degree – you can shove that right where the sun don’t shine. When you become a Mom, then come talk to me, then I will listen to what you have to say. But until then, move along and get down from your soap box and stop acting like you are infallible, because you are not.
Humanity has to step up and evolve or we will never see a time when we can be more open and more appreciated for our differences rather than how we are all like sheep and how we all follow one another. That starts with not being so judgmental and so willing to get involved in someone else’s life.
This community, especially it’s Dommes, thrive on drama and causing it wherever they can because it gets them attention. Well here is some food for thought – why don’t you get attention by being something great and by being a good Domme? By being good at what you do – I’m sorry you’re a dried up, washed up Domme, but messing with me will not get you anywhere but a courthouse in front of a judge with a restraining order on your ass. So do yourself a favor and everyone else and stop worrying about my life and start worrying about your own. Do something good for you. <3
Just because someone is a Pro-Domme or kinky with kids doesn’t mean they should be persecuted for it.
XOXO
Mistress Scarlett
