How to contact a dominatrix
I get a lot of emails, messages and just general questions surrounded around etiquette on how to approach me, how to act, what to say, what to call me, how to address me, what to bring me for a gift, things that should be said, not said so I figured I would write a blog surrounding general etiquette when reaching out to a Pro-Domme for the first time, the steps in doing so and very much the how to do so. It’s something that seems a very daunting first step to some people and because they don’t know how, they never take the plunge and never get over that first hurdle in order to truly dive into the magnificent world that is seeing a Professional Dominatrix and all that comes along with it. For many, seeing a Pro-Domme will be life changing in more than one way, so I would hate for you not to contact myself, or any other Pro-Domme simply because you are hesitant to reach out in the first place! So look below to see the “how to” and “what to do” when contacting one of us fierce ladies.
Step 1 – Do your research, go to websites like https://www.eros.com/ and https://www.dickievirgin.com/ which lists Pro-Dommes by country and state. Check out their websites and read through them thoroughly. Get to know the Domme, what she likes, the fetishes she caters to, what she expects, her demeanor, everything, we make these websites and provide a lot of information for a reason – not just for the photos! From here, make your way to her social media, stalk her for a bit, trust me, she won’t mind, she will be happy you did your homework like a good little boy or girl.
Step 2 – Think about what it is you want before you contact her. How long of a session are you looking for? What fetishes are you looking to indulge in? What are you looking to get from this and what can you bring to the table for her? How can you serve her? Like all D/s relationships, even though this one is temporary (or maybe not?) it is a give and take, you both bring something to the table as a top or bottom, so you want to have that in mind when you contact her. So truly give this some good thought prior to reaching out.
Step 3 – Reach out and be polite about it, referring to her as Mistress, Goddess, Queen, Princess, or whatever she may go by. Make sure you have a well thought out email – don’t bombard her with 10 pages of “I like long walks on the beach, my favorite color is red and I have a dog named Henry…” but stick to what you think and know she needs to know. As I stated before; the length of your session desired, some dates you are open, some times, what fetishes you are into, your soft and hard limits, what you can bring to the table and what you are looking to get out of it.
Step 4 – Now – it is always a wise choice to send a Tribute with your communication to show your future Mistress you are serious about serving her. If she has an Amazon Wish List, do yourself a favor and send her something off of it or even send her an e-gift card for Sephora or Etsy, or even better, see what she has listed on her site, trust me it will speak volumes and you will likely earn her favor right off the bat. Little gestures like this are everything and makes us take you seriously from the get-go. Make sure to let her know you have sent the gift if it is one that has been mailed, she will give you praise.
Step 5 – Follow all directions she gives you to a “T” and don’t stray. If you have any questions, ask them during the initial first few emails, do not bombard her with emails every single day leading up to the session, she doesn’t have time for that, it’s not that she doesn’t care, it’s just that she is a busy busy gal and she has God knows how many other people emailing her, texting her, messaging her on social media and leaving comments she needs to respond to. Amongst the 8 million other things she needs to do to run her business and try and have a life too. Being a Domme = always being busy.
Step 6 – The day of your session. This is super important. Take a shower! Shave. If you’re going to be doing CBT, manscape as well! I cannot stress how important this is! We do not like smelly guys (or ladies for that matter) so make sure you arrive fresh and clean, with clean clothing and ready for your session. Be sure to bring another small session gift or extra cash for a tip, don’t run yourself broke, but a little something is always nice, never show up empty handed to a a first session. You want to make a good first impression. If you spoil her, it is likely she will spoil you a bit too.
Step 7 – From here on out it’s in your Dommes hands! She will lead you – follow her lead! Be a good little boy or girl and pay attention to detail, listen to what she has to say, ask questions, be honest with her, remember, speaking to your Domme is like speaking to a therapist, nothing leaves the room! The more honest and open you are with her, the more she will, not only be able to conjure up some fun, but she will actually be able to help you and help you release a lot of pent of negative energy. BDSM is not only erotic and fun, but it soothes the soul and can be very healing. Let your Domme be your guide, let her take you by the hand and rebuild you into the very best you, that you can be! You won’t regret it!
So – there are my seven steps to contacting a Domme, using proper etiquette and having a good first session. It’s really quite simple! Act as if you were talking to a Queen, because after all, she really is…a Queen.
If anyone has any questions about this article feel free to message me on my FetLife or at carolinebetty69@gmail.com and I would be happy to answer them.
I would also like everyone to know that I am still currently running sessions as normal and that I am also renting out my attic play space this winter for some extra bdsm fun if you and your partner(s) would like to indulge in some epic bdsm play! Message me for rates, times and dates available!
As always, much love and peace to all, I hope everyone is doing well, there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel! Hang in there~
Much Love,
Mistress Scarlett
