Becoming a Professional Dominatrix
So You Want To Be a Professional Dominatrix
First things first, you’ve decided that life has led you to the world of kink and you are so passionate about it that you’ve decided to take that next step and make kink an even bigger part of your life by making it your job. Well, it’s easy to decide you want to do that, but it’s easier said than done. There are specific steps that should be taken before you dive into the world of being a Pro-Domme.
First of all – give it A LOT of thought and do A LOT of research. I mean A LOT. I cannot stress how much research you should be doing. Read, read, read and read some more. Research other Pro-Dommes and do some digging, see what you can find about their history, many Dommes have “About Me” sections or videos about how they got started, what they did and how they came to be where they are now. You want to follow in these ladies footsteps, they know what they’re doing. And I am talking reputable, well known Pro-Dommes like Mistress Cyan, Simone Justice and Isabella Sinclair, not girls on Twitter calling themselves Pro-Dommes. Do your research on the past generation of Dommes, those ladies are killer and know what they are talking about.
Next – Learn some more, research fetishes and kinks, think about what you are going to want to cater to and what you absolutely will not be comfortable with, this will help you establish what you will need training in and where, while also helping you to realize what your limits are. A lot will come with time, but there are so many different kinks out there, you’re going to want to familiarize yourself with a good majority of them. Try checking here for a big list of them to get you started! < https://badgirlsbible.com/list-of-kinks-and-fetishes >
When you’ve done a solid six months of research and mulling things over, making sure this is truly something you want to do, it may be time to start looking for a mentor in your area. This is super important! You want a mentor! You cannot just wake up one day and be a Professional Dominatrix because you want to be, without proper training you could both physically and emotionally hurt people, even if you do not mean to. The act of domination takes patience, skill and lots of training. Even though there are never-ending resources online, there is nothing that compares to being trained in the flesh by an actual Pro-Domme with experience. You may have to do some digging, but most Pro-Dommes take on mentees, some expect compensation, some do not, it all depends on them personally. A good place to hunt down a Pro-Domme in your area is Dickie Virgin < https://www.dickievirgin.com/ > They separate Dommes by country and state so you can find what you are looking for.
When you reach out, be respectful, give some background information on yourself and ask if he/she is accepting mentees at the moment. Hopefully you will establish a good relationship with the Domme and if they cannot help you, maybe they can point you in the right direction. Some Dommes will also offer lessons via phone and Skype as well, which are good, because not everything is hands on, there is so much information it would make your head swim.
So – once you have a mentor, they will likely guide you through much of the rest of the process, but some of it looks a little like this –
You’re going to want to start putting yourself out there, creating a social media presence and letting people know, “Hey! I exist! This is who I am.” Post information about yourself, what you like, pictures (stick to good, clear pictures, no fuzzy stuff), toys, anything kink and fetish related. This is important for later on.
You want to have a name, obviously, be it Mistress, Goddess, Princess, Queen, etc, and a persona that you embody. How do you want to dress? Do you have a specific wardrobe staple or hair color that makes you stand out amongst everyone else? This is good, because there are a lot of Pro-Dommes out there and having something that singles you out from the rest is a good idea, maybe even a tag line or something you do at the start of every session, video or even something in your photos your known for. Use your imagination and be uniquely you.
Next, you’re going to need to invest. Every one of us has invested in our trade. We’ve bought toys, furniture, clothing, gear, everything. (For what to invest in and other info like where to buy, think about taking my class https://scarlettattic.com/pro-domme-mentoring/) Buy a little at a time and eventually you will accumulate a good wardrobe, toy box and even furniture!
Finances! This is important! Get them under control and track them right away. Everything you purchase can be written off on your taxes as an expense. Do yourself a favor and do things the legal way, don’t just blow off your taxes. It gives you a fat return at the end of the year and you never have to worry about the IRS coming after you either. Get Quickbooks for small business – it’s amazing and easy to use, even for a beginner in accounting.
Practice your buns off, if you have a mentor, he/she will have you practicing quite a lot, but even if they don’t, practice on your own anyways. Take a pillow and practice aiming when you cane, grab a pair of floggers and florentine your ass off. get a few whips and practice aiming, practice CBT on a banana, there is a million and one ways you can practice at home by yourself. If you have learned safety, grab a well trusted friend or partner and practice a bit with them, just go slowly, there is no rushing this process, it will all come in due time.
You will find that entering the world of being a Professional Dominatrix is extremely rewarding and self gratifying when done correctly. This path is not for everyone, but if it’s right for you, you’ll know it. You’ll feel more powerful than you’ve ever felt before and more in control of your life too. It’s freeing, running your own business, all the while providing a service that both helps and emboldens people, allowing them to be themselves without shame or discrimination.
For more information on how to become a Pro-Domme, you may inquire with me at carolinebetty69@gmail.com – I provide lessons via phone, Skype and in person.
Remember, always be true to yourself and good luck no matter what path you may take in life.
XOXO
Mistress Scarlett
