Porn: The Dirty Truth

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Porn. Where do I even start? Now I know many of you are already screaming at the scream. “Anti-Sex Worker!” – ” Hypocrite!” – ” Prude!”

Listen. I am going to talk about a lot here, hopefully you will stick with me through this article, because it will probably be one of the most important ones I ever write, in the name of science, in the name of healthy sex, in the name of self love, in the name of loving someone else and in the name of human rights. All of these things will be relevant and all of these things will be centered around facts, not just based on my opinions or the opinions of others, facts will be backed up by scientific, psychological, or news covered sources. Some sources may even come from the porn actors and actresses themselves, all will be cited and included in my article. There will be no “fake news” or articles of emotion, meaning articles based on the opinions of others. These articles will be those of scientists, psychologists, doctors, news coverage, and as I said, the people who work in the industry itself, so those who know it best. Everything not cited will be common knowledge. For instance, I will go over the history of porn. This is common knowledge to most, maybe some of the younger generations don’t remember when porn was simply a “magazine subscription”, but if they use their brains and think of technological advances I’m sure they can imagine it.

Now, on to the article itself. Prepare to have your eyes opened and prepare to learn. And I do ask you to share the hell out of this article and educate everyone you can because this effects millions of people and those millions of people have absolutely no idea about the extent of any of this. In fact, I posted a short Tweet about the effects of porn on the brain and was met with nothing, but anger and nastiness, people calling me a liar, and false, and saying I didn’t know what I was talking about and yadda yadda yadda. Well, here is my longer response to you all. Especially the guy who was like, “What are you, a sex expert?”

Kinda. Yeah. A good Dominatrix is more than just someone who spanks you. In my opinion we are highly underestimated. Just saying. So, without further ado, I wish you all happy reading and do hope you take something from this.

Part One: Pornography – The History

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Pornography, as defined by the Encyclopedia Britannica is, a representation of sexual behavior in books, pictures, statues, films, and other media that is intended to cause sexual excitement. The distinction between pornography (illicit and condemned material) and erotica (which is broadly tolerated) is largely subjective and reflects changing community standards. The word pornography, derived from the Greek porni (“prostitute”) and graphein (“to write”), was originally defined as any work of art or literature depicting the life of prostitutes.

Because the very definition of pornography is subjective, a history of pornography is nearly impossible to conceive; imagery that might be considered erotic or even religious in one society may be condemned as pornographic in another. Thus, European travelers to India in the 19th century were appalled by what they considered pornographic representations of sexual contact and intercourse on Hindu temples such as those of Khajuraho; most modern observers would probably react differently. Many contemporary Muslim societies likewise apply the label “pornography” to many motion pictures and television programs that are unobjectionable in Western societies. To adapt a cliché, pornography is very much in the eye of the beholder.

Aha! Right there is where we come across our very first fact that tells us a lot about pornography and it’s history. Pornography is very much in the eye of the beholder. So, for instance, people with a fetish for different things may view feet or hands or other things as pornography, so when I speak of a porn addiction, let me first clarify, that I am speaking of ANY addiction which effects the brain like an addiction, but, to keep things simple, we will go with the masses and the top percentage of human beings. Psychology Today took data from hundreds of thousands of its clients from all over the United States and determined 76% of women and 98% of men have watched porn involving sex within the past 6 months. So for the purpose of this article we will be using sex and sexual situations, such as nudity, oral, anal, lesbian and traditional and all that surrounds that. Basically 90% of what is searchable on PornHub. (haha)

[References Included in above text

Encyclopedia Britannica Online

Blais-Lecours, S., Vaillancourt-Morel, M.-P., Sabourin, S., & Godbout, N. (2016). Cyberpornography: Time use, perceived
addiction, sexual functioning, and sexual satisfaction. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and SocialNetworking, 19(11),
649–655. doi:10.1089/cyber.2016.0364

Cooper, A.,Delmonico,D. L., & Burg, R. (2000). Cybersex users, abusers, and compulsives:New findings and implications.
Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 7(1–2), 5–29. doi:10.1080/10720160008400205

Daspe M, Vaillancourt-Morel M, Lussier Y, Sabourin S & Ferron A (2017): When Pornography Use Feels Out of Control: The Moderation
Effect of Relationship and Sexual Satisfaction, Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, DOI:
10.1080/0092623X.2017.1405301 ]

As for the history of pornography, we will not go ALL the way back, we’ll start with more modern times. 1953, 27 Year old Hugh Hefner publishes the first Playboy Magazine with Marilyn Monroe. Though, as far back as 1880 nude magazines had been published, Playboy went mainstream and was pretty much a staple in every American household, it normalized pornography in a way that nothing else ever had.

It made way for other nude magazines, including Hustler and even PlayGirl, and then the even more modernized, Playboy TV, which then caused paid TV channels like HBO and Cinemax to run their own versions of pornography late at night so people would pay for the channel. Porn was snowballing little by little and edging it’s way into the mainstream of America. Even I remember as a kid, turning on Cinemax at night and watching the fuzzed out lines on the screen, hoping to see something I wasn’t supposed to. Sex and nudity became this dirty, secretive, taboo thing, which, of course, only made me want to see it more. And here is where we find problem number one.

Sex, nudity and something so natural and beautiful was turned into something to dirty and taboo. Where other countries raised their kids around nudity and even taught them the difference between nudity and sexuality, the US shunned it in all forms, demonizing women’s sexuality, turning men into sexual predators and slowly, but surely turning porn into a more and more hardcore thing. It started off as magazines, then became movies and tv channels. Then, the internet arrived, then, high speed internet arrived and free sites like PornHub and XXXhamster arrived, and porn escalated and escalated and escalated until it was unrecognizable. Watching a man and a woman have sex, missionary position was for the birds, no one could get off on that anymore. People were searching gang bangs with 50 people and girls who looked like teens now. The more taboo, the better. Without realizing it, America had turned it’s own people into total taboo seekers. All because they tried to basically turn sex into this dirty, horrible thing, it’s like the crazy healthy mom telling the child they can’t have the lollipop because it has too much sugar. This only makes the lollipop and the sugar more desirable. Instead of limiting the sugar intake and giving into the lollipop once in awhile, the child who doesn’t get the candy becomes obsessed and rots all the teeth out of his head when they become able to get their hands on some sugar. It becomes an obsession. And soon, just the lollipop isn’t good enough, they move onto chocolate bars, and pixie sticks, and then bags of candy and everything they can get their hands on. Tell someone that something is “not good” and “taboo” and it only makes them want it more. It’s a science, it’s the human mind and the way it works. And when it’s pushed into our brains from when we are children, it only spirals out of control. By the time we’re adults and we can do what we want, well, do we always know what is best for us? Everyone said cigarettes were perfectly safe too….but, I digress. And so ends the history of porn and how it’s evolution effected us.

Part Two: Pornography and the Brain

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Ever wonder why they compare pornography to heroine? Well, here’s why. Pornography has an effect on the prefrontal cortex of the brain, the part of the brain that we use to make decisions and that gives us self-control. Watching a lot of porn literally destroys the gray matter in the prefrontal cortex, which then effects the way we make decisions and literally has an effect on our self-control. If that doesn’t scare you, it should. People who watch a lot of porn and people who do not watch a lot of porn have been put through MRI and CT scans and it has been proven by the photographs and brain wave activity that this is true. Because the addiction is much like a drug addiction, people go through purges and binges, seeking the dopamine release from the pleasure inducing activity. Be it porn, or drugs. This can cause low self-esteem, depression, anger, and can also be a gateway for some from porn into using escorts, webcam sex, prostitution, or other forms of sexual gratification that doesn’t include a partner or spouse. This can also give people a false sense of reality and make them unable to perform with their partner, spouse or actual person when the time comes. Because this addiction is literally eating away at your brain matter…

[Reference Cited: Journal of Psychology Volume 13 Issue 2- Kendra J. Muller – Pornography’s Effect on the Brain: A Review of Modifications in the Prefrontal Cortex]

Part Three: Pornography and Abuse

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About now you’re like, “okay, those things suck, but Scarlett, you’re a Sex Worker, how can you not support other Sex Workers and have this anti-Sex Worker attitude?”

Here’s why. Do you know how many women have suffered abuse at the hands of the porn industry??? They’re overworked, underpaid, left bruised, beaten, sometimes raped, made to do scenes they do not want to do, they are humiliated, mentally abused, traumatized. I’m not talking about your home video hookups, I’m talking about women in well known porn companies LIKE Playboy for instance. Even the three girlfriends in the show Girls Next Door were extremely abused by High Hefner and all three of them came out with statements after they left him, especially Holly, his main girlfriend. Think about it, they were almost never allowed to leave that house and if they did, they had to ask permission and he had to know where they were and who they were with at all times,

I will let videos do the talking for me here. I’m warning you now, some of these are graphic, disturbing, violent….just a horrible representation of humanity and will make you think twice about watching pornography again. And this is just FOUR videos. YouTube has hundreds…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UQC8doPvVE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xg4cZppSRUw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0rdSxVXxrc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bk23mL15qpA

Part Four: Pornography and Relationships

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Pornography can have a detrimental effect on both your relationship with your spouse and your relationship with your own self.

What you see in porn films is often not what you get in real life. You cannot walk into a club and have a gang bang with four DD breasted “perfect” looking women who just want to suck your cock until you cum all over their face. These girls are edited and photoshopped, no one is “perfect”.

First, how does this effect your partner?

She can never be this fantasy and this can effect her self esteem. She can feel like she is not good enough, she might be slightly overweight, she might have scars from having surgery or giving birth, her breasts might not be as large and her waist not as slim. She will not feel as sexy, which will effect your sex life on a large scale. She might become depressed. It might even end your relationship.

How does this effect you?

You may think to yourself, I could never get a girl who looks like this, all I have is porn. I’m not good enough, I’ll never be good enough, but what you’re comparing yourself to, is nothing, but a fantasy, it’s not real. You’re putting yourself down for nothing and putting yourself into a depression over nothing. You might often feel shame after you cum to porn, most men do. They feel dirty and they despise themselves for what they just got off to and fantasized about. You are hurting yourself.

Women, you too, you may feel shame and disgust, about your body and your sexual desires. You may feel like you are not enough. You may turn to porn because you think you could never get a guy with a big enough penis or a 6 pack and rock hard arms who works out every day. You may feel insufficient and shamed.

Both sexes. You do not deserve to do this to yourself. You deserve to find someone to have a happy and healthy sex life with. Turning to pornography all the time is not healthy and developing an addiction will only turn your life upside down and make it harder for you to both love yourself and love someone else. To be happy with yourself and be happy with someone else.

When you’re addicted to porn, it becomes harder and harder to function with a real person who is right in front of you. You may mimic porn, thinking that is what a person likes, wants or needs and I will tell you right now, it’s the furthest thing from the truth. Porn is fake. A fantasy. It stimulates the brain and creates arousal and can make you cum, but when you’re with a real person, you use your senses of touch, taste, sight, sound and you take your time, exploring that person, you communicate, you learn them, you pay attention to what’s in front of you and stay in the moment. You stay with them. In real life. Make a connection.

It’s sexier than any pornography could ever be.

Part Five: Last Thoughts

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Now don’t get me wrong, watching a little porn is not a bad or horrible thing. But follow a few rules when you’re going to watch it.

One, stick to normal stuff, don’t go nuts. Do man and a woman, woman and woman, man and man (if you’re gay), maybe a threesome, oral, anal, normal. Don’t look up anything violent (rape fantasy), no gang bangs, nothing twisted….keep it simple.

Two, stick to once in a blue moon and use your imagination the rest of the time or read an erotic novel.

Three, do your research about the company and actors/actresses. Make sure there have been no complaints filed against them for abuse. (DianaandDamien.com make great porn, they’re a real life couple that films their incredible sex life) https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph6202c3548164c

Four, talk to your partner about it, be honest, watch it with them, make it sexy. Communicate. Trust me, it will go over way better than hiding it away on your computer or phone.

Five, remember, no shame. Sex is beautiful, natural and should not be demonized by women or men.. Talk about it freely with your therapist, closest friend or spouse. Don’t do anything that makes you feel ashamed.

Six, if you need help with porn addiction, treat it like any other addiction and get help. A therapist, Dominatrix, doctor or any other professional can help. But get help.

I hope this article opened your eyes about some things and also made you feel differently about how porn is looked at and viewed and how you look at it and view it too. Please leave me your thoughts and views on the subject below or anywhere I have posted this article, I look forward to hearing from you.

Until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, love yourself and love each other.

XOXO
Mistress Scarlett